As a precursor to my story, Jesus makes it abundantly clear in the Bible that He LOVES children. I don’t even feel like it’s necessary to site specific verses to prove that, because I think it’s so obvious. And I think, given that background, that the worst people to dishonor/lead astray/devalue are children. Especially your own. The Bible gives instruction after instruction regarding instruction of your children. Unfortunately, however, it seems to me in my work and in life in general, that obvious devaluing of children is a common tendency.
Last week, I had the opportunity to teach a small group of first graders in Elevation’s elementary school ministry and was told something by a 6 year old that has weighed heavily on my heart ever since. I was explaining to them the most well known verse of the Bible, John 3:16. For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only son so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. This verse is, in and of itself, descriptive of the Gospel, the entire basis of the Christian faith.
We talked about love, and how VERY much God loves them. The kids told me about all of the people whom they love, and about the people who love them. Next, we talked about the gift that God gave to us. In an effort to show them what a BIG gift God gave us when he sent His son to die for us, I asked them: have you ever had to give something away that you loved in order to help someone else? They told me about various puppies, kittens, and old toys, and we talked about how hard it is to give away what you love. And then, I started to change the subject to my main point: what if your mommy or daddy had to give YOU away?
I was expecting somewhat of a shock factor. An understanding, on some level, that God must REALLY love us if he gave His SON for us. But what a 6 year old in my group told me really surprised me. What she told me, was this: “but if a mommy doesn’t really want her baby then she just throws them in the dumpster”.
Yep. If a mommy doesn’t want her baby, then she can put it in a dumpster. REALLY? This kid is 6. And unfortunately, at 6, she sees a trend in society for parents to view their OWN CHILDREN as optional. She sees parental love as conditional. She doesn't see giving children away as difficult. In fact, she sees it as convenient. After all, if that's what the mommy wants. And she relates that to God. And this kid, I feel it's important to point out, is from an intact family. She doesn't strike me as distressed in any way, she's just telling me what people do. What's one option if you don't want your kid.
I was caught off guard enough to spend a minute talking about how people who do that are very sick, and how that’s not how mommies and daddies are supposed to treat their children. But the damage is done, and the analogy, obsolete. How are children supposed to understand the incredible gift that God gave to us when people give up or disregard their children all of the time as soon as parenthood is inconvenient for them? And how are children supposed to understand the unconditional love of Christ if they've never experienced that type of love. If the only physical “father” that they know treats them as disposable?
I think that most people would agree that deadbeat parents cause great disservice to their children. Children from the adversity of a broken home are, statistically, more likely to live in poverty, have learning disabilities, be depressed, commit suicide, enter into abusive relationships/marriages, get divorced themselves, etc. But quite possibly, the greatest disservice of all, is that by treating their children so optionally, they make what is the most important thing that children could hear, the Gospel, almost impossible to comprehend.
It’s a thought that I’ve heard more than once that the most obvious way for the devil to destroy our relationships with God is at the level of the family. If you can create havoc in a family, then you place a child at greater risk for all of the aforementioned adversity, you can create a normalcy that includes fake loyalty, conditional love, and advancement of an individual at the expense of everyone else, even their families. And you can, thereby, destroy the faith of children, faith that is cited in the Bible as a benchmark for everyone one else by Jesus Christ Himself. That. Is sad.
